REFLECTIONS ON DYING & LIVING HEALTHY: My Interview with Roberta & Bruce
As part of my annual research on counseling, I had a chance to communicate with a couple Roberta and Bruce (not their real names) on a long distance from my home in Connecticut over skype (military moved me here and just arrived here last night here in California in a very short notice and knows no one except my mom who is 5 hours away it took me a bit of struggle) to get some "wisdom" on how to age ideally. They kindly answered the questions as follows:
What is Aging? Aging for Roberta and Bruce is accumulating wisdom. They consider themselves as spiritual in a "Christian way". They said they don't mind being called "old" in their late 60s and just like wine, they should be aged over time and has more to offer as they grow older. Bruce at 67 still works on a pharmaceutical company and waiting for retirement next year.
At almost 70s, what else could they wish for?
They wish that they could travel more or explore life more by being adventurous. Individually, Roberta wishes that she could have given more time to their 25+ years old son who has his own family now. They wish to provide more kindness to their neighbor, love, and service to family and country and enjoying life in any circumstances.
Thoughts on dying and living healthy.
The death of her mother made an impact even though she was already in her early 50s. She and her mother had a very close relationship that when her mom died, she felt there was “a little hole that her mom left” and her husband continues to give her comfort. She thinks that health and active lifestyle is important but what gives her strength is her community service to her church and relationship to Jesus Christ.
My final thoughts as a counselor and as active-duty military
I thought the phone/skype interview was fast and I thought it would be intimidating because I have only known them for about 5 months then we moved out of Connecticut. She did answer most of the questions and I thought her spiritual attitude towards life makes her a very approachable person and aging positively. Although Roberta is on her late 60s, she does help her mother-in-law who is 85 years old and in a nursing home and very active in her church community, which makes her very mobile and flexible and communicates with children who are in early 40s.
(Revised & updated in 2020. This was written in 2008 on October 19 by Tony Astro as part of required research on his Ph.D. in Counseling. Below are previous comments)
- Subject: Re:Interview (Discussion #2 on Aging) by Tony Astro Topic: u02d2 InterviewREPLYDELETE
Author: Lillet Williams Date: October 19, 2008 11:38 PM
Hi Tony - you did well even with the last-minute move!
I find it very sweet that she helps her mother in law in the nursing home. I'm sure it gives her a sense of being needed and a closeness that she clearly still misses from her own mother.
Lillet 
Subject: Re: Linda's response to Tony's post Topic: u02d2 Interview
Author: Linda Bradley Date: October 19, 2008 11:45 PM
Hi Tony,
I enjoyed reading your interview with the couple. I've noticed from several of the interviews that there was a mentioning of spirituality. I certainly think tha if an individual brings up their spritual beliefs, its is important to understand the effects it has on the individual.
Spirituality for many older adults facilitates deep personal satisfaction, comfort, and peace. It may also serve as a way to cope with their own personal struggles, as well as doing and caring for others.
It's sad to learn of the loss of her mother. My interviewee also lost her mother. They were very close. One good thing is that your interviewee finds comfort through her husband. It appears that he provides good companionship and is very supportive. My interviewee turns to her father, children, and church family for companionship and support.
Thanks for sharing your experience!!! Great Job!!
Linda Bradley
Subject: Re:Interview (Discussion #2 on Aging) by Tony Astro Topic: u02d2 Interview
ReplyDeleteAuthor: Lillet Williams Date: October 19, 2008 11:38 PM
Hi Tony - you did good even with the last minute move!
I find it very sweet that she helps her mother in law in the nursing home. I'm sure it gives her a sense of being needed and a closeness that she clearly still misses from her own mother.
Lillet
Subject: Re: Linda's response to Tony's post Topic: u02d2 Interview
ReplyDeleteAuthor: Linda Bradley Date: October 19, 2008 11:45 PM
Hi Tony,
I enjoyed reading your interview with the couple. I've noticed from several of the interviews that there was a mentioning of spirituality. I certainly think tha if an individual brings up their spritual beliefs, its is important to understand the effects it has on the individual.
Spirituality for many older adults facilitates deep personal satisfaction, comfort, and peace. It may also serve as a way to cope with their own personal struggles, as well as doing and caring for others.
It's sad to learn of the loss of her mother. My interviewee also lost her mother. They were very close. One good thing is that your interviewee finds comfort through her husband. It appears that he provides good companionship and is very supportive. My interviewee turns to her father, children, and church family for companionship and support.
Thanks for sharing your experience!!! Great Job!!
Linda Bradley